The Burden of Perfectionism: Why Pursuing Excellence is Healthier for Your Mental Health
At times, the pursuit of excellence can push us to achieve new heights and reach our fullest potential. However, when excellence morphs into an obsession with perfection, it can leave us feeling empty, anxious, and even depressed. As mental health professionals, we understand the negative impact perfectionism can have on individuals, couples, and families. In this blog post, we will explore the difference between pursuing excellence and perfectionism, and how recognizing this difference can have a profound impact on our mental health.
The Problem with Perfectionism
Perfectionism is an attitude that emphasizes the attainment of flawlessness, often at the cost of personal fulfillment and mental health. Seeking perfection can contribute to feelings of anxiety, depression, burnout, and more. Perfectionists place unhealthy standards on themselves and experience severe fear of failure. They are prone to criticize themselves harshly for even the smallest mistakes, which leaves them feeling worthless and discouraged.
Perfectionism can get worse over time, especially when it's reinforced by someone's environment. The constant external pressure to maintain unrealistic standards can lead to social isolation, missed opportunities, and deteriorating mental health. Perfectionists also tend to be very self-critical, which often results in feelings of despair and hopelessness. Seeking perfection is a never-ending struggle that leaves people feeling drained and unhappy.
The Benefits of Pursuing Excellence
Pursuing excellence, on the other hand, focuses on self-improvement, growth, and learning. Instead of creating impossible standards, it fosters a positive attitude toward self-care and self-compassion. High standards that are realistic and achievable can lead to feelings of accomplishment and fulfillment, contributing to better overall mental health.
Through a dedication to excellence, we become more attuned to our achievements, recognizing progress and growth on the journey towards improvement. The focus on growth and learning means we embrace challenges as opportunities for growth and development. In the long run, the consistent progress towards a realistic goal can build confidence, which strengthens resilience and ultimately contributes to better mental health.
Moving Forward
Here are some strategies that can help begin the healing journey from perfectionism:
Recognize Perfectionism- The important first step towards healing from perfectionism is recognizing it. The habit of setting impossibly high standards for yourself, the need for control and the fear of failure, are all characteristics of perfectionism. Take some time to reflect on your own experiences and be willing to be honest with yourself.
Challenge Negative Self-talk- Negative self-talk is a common symptom of perfectionism. It is essential to challenge the inner critic and recognize it as an unrealistic and harmful pattern that can be transformed. Identify negative self-talk when it arises and try to reframe the internal dialogue by expressing compassion and kindness towards yourself.
Practice Self-compassion- When dealing with perfectionism, self-compassion is essential. It involves acknowledging and validating our own emotions and treating ourselves with kindness and understanding, as we would a good friend. Remember that you don't have to be perfect to be worthy of love and respect, and appreciate yourself for who you are.
Cultivate Self-awareness and Self-acceptance- Perfectionism often arises as a result of negative experiences in early childhood. Improved self-awareness can help identify the source and enable you to understand why you may be striving for perfection. By cultivating self-acceptance and embracing your limitations, you can overcome perfectionism and reduce its negative impact on your life.
Seek Support- Perfectionism is not a state that can be resolved alone. Having a trusted friend, therapist, or support group can offer you a supportive community that can help to encourage self-acceptance, self-compassion, and reduce the fears and anxieties associated with perfectionism.
If you struggle with perfectionism, we want you to know that you're not alone. At times, it can be helpful to seek support from a mental health professional who can help you put your anxiety and worries in perspective. We believe the pursuit of excellence is key in building a supportive community that encourages self-improvement without the constant fear of falling short. It is okay to strive for greatness while understanding that it doesn't have to come at the expense of your mental health. Remember, it's not about being perfect; it's about doing the best you can.