Couple Intensives
Do You Feel Disconnected From Your Spouse And You Don’t Know Where To Turn?
You said, “I do,” and promised forever. You never imagined that you would be at this place. How did the future full of possibilities become one marked by so many obstacles?
The two of you may simply be struggling to communicate, or you may find yourselves faced with infidelity or betrayal and you are not sure if you can survive another week together. We navigate these difficult places with couples regularly.
A feeling of isolation is common and it can be hard to find the time to have the conversations that are so desperately needed to heal your relationship. Anxiety, depression, anger, and resentment are plentiful when couples are struggling to connect and communicate. Our intensives are led by therapists with expertise to support you and help you navigate a new and better future. The intensive also provides the concentranted time to set a new foundation to begin healing and considering what a new and better future would look like.
Send Us A Message & Take Time For Your Relationship!
We Combine The Leading Couples Treatment Models To Customize Intensives That Address Your Needs And Help You Have The Conversations That are Necessary For Rebuilding Your Relationship
Tal and Teresa have completed Level 3 training in the Gottman Coupels Method. They use research-base assessments and resources that best fit your relationship to help you have conversations that have either not happened or that regularly end in conflict.
Have you noticed that many of your disagreements are perpetual and require an individual winner and loser. We have the training and tools to help you create space for the marriage to win without losing yourself in the battle. We teach you how to collaborate and connect over simply digging in to conflict that ends in gridlock or forced compliance.
Anger is a numbing emotion and resentment is a mood that may fuel you day to day but also robs you of joy. Unmet wants and failed attempts to connect leave couples unsure of where to turn. We can help you uncover the negative cycle that underscores most of your fights using the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Model.
If you have discovered your partner’s betrayal and are not sure that you can trust again or that you even want to continue in the marriage, we see that. We walk through this with couples every week. You are not alone and there is a process to navigate this devastation.
Tal is trained as a Certified Sex Addition Therapist (CSAT) and a Certified Partner Trauma Therapist (CPTT). Teresa is trained as an Associate Sex Addiction Therapist (ASAT) and a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist -candidate (CCPS). We both know the impact of infidelity and addiction on the individual and the relationship, as well as the impact of betrayal trauma on the partner.
Tal and Teresa were in one of the early training groups with Carol Sheets and Jake Porter to incorporate the Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model (ERCEM). This helps couples learn empathy and navigate the relationship post-full therapeutic disclosure.
To address the trauma that each of you are navigating, Tal and Teresa are trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) and Brainspotting.
We are invested in your recovery and healing as a couple, and have committed time and resources to provide you with leading research-based tools and assessments.
Fueling Connection In The Confusion and Conflict
Most conflict is perpetual, 71% according to Gottman. That can seem overwhelming if you are having a hard time connecting. However, learning to navigate that 71% of conflict in your relationship can change the future for the two of you and your family as a whole.
The first three minutes of a difficult conversation predicts the outcome, leading to success or failure. We help you slow it down and make it safe to say what you really intend to say. Oftentimes, couples sabatoge what they really want to say because they don’t know how to navigate the reactivity that surrounds them when there is distance and/ or betrayal in the relationship.
If the foundation of truth has been shattered in your relationship, and you want to connect and rebuild, we can help. You may think your spouse will never trust you again. Or you may have been betrayed and want to rebuild the relationship, but cannot imagine how you could ever trust again. We can take you through a disclosure process during your one-on-one intensive and help the two of you lay this foundation of truth. “A survey of partners’ experiences of the recovery process conducted by the Association of Partner’s of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists (APSATS) suggests that prolonged wait time between discovery of betrayal and the full disclosure can be more distressing that then full disclosure itself in some cases. On a 10-point scale of emotional distress, with a ‘10’ indicating the highest level of emotional distress, [Initial Discovery = 9.6; Wait Time = 9.2; Full Disclosure 7.7.]”¹ The full disclosure was significantly less distressing than discovery and the wait time for disclosure.
Intensive Couples Therapy At Insights Counseling Center Accelerates The Course Of Treatment
Sometimes marriages have reached a point that 50 minutes once a week or once every other week is not enough to navigate the conflict that has surfaced between the couple.
Gottman identified four communication styles that, according to his research, could predict the end of a relationship. These are: criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling. These have often become such a part of the communication patterns in the couples we work with, that they regularly sabotage what they are trying to communicate.
We teach these skills to couples in individual sessions and they regularly have deeper understanding; however, when they return in one or two weeks, we are picking up right where we left off during our last session. They see positive results with the dedicated time and structure in our office, yet they don’t have the time or take the time to practice on their own. It is hard to break old patterns and create new and healthier conversations. The extended time together in our intensive setting gets the two of you through some of the most difficult conversations with our help.
In an intensive, we can help you recognize these destructive patterns and learn the behaviors that counteract them with enough repetition that you have had the practice you need to take them into your daily life. We will help you chart a course for treatment in your marriage with proven resources and assessments.
The Process for Marriage Intensives
Group Couples Intensives
We offer three to five day intensives where couples can get away to learn relationship skills to improve their communication and connection with one another. We combine education, application, and therapeutic support with feedback as you learn and implement new skills.
Individual Couples Intensive
We work with couples to customize individual intensives, whether they are three hours or three days. You can plan your intensive time with just Tal or Teresa or have them both join the two of you so you each have individual support and specialized breakouts.
Therapeutic Full-Disclosure Intensive
We have a team in place to help couples who don’t have the time to prepare a disclosure over two to three months and who need a disclosure for a variety of reasons. Some need to know what they are healing from and if they are in financial or physical danger and need to know the extent of the infidelity. Others are working with therapists who do not provide a disclosure team and they want to establish a foundation of truth to begin the work of rebuilding. The wait between discovering betrayal and full disclosure can be as difficult as the day of discovery itself. We know the importance of having the answers in a dscolsure with therapeutic support and save time in our schedules to get you in quickly to do the work to repair your marriage.
Come to an Intensive and Experience Collaboration & Connection Over Control & Compliance
We don’t simply tell you what is damaging your connection and to stop that! We help you find new options to replace those old destructive patterns that are coming between the two of you. You don’t have to control the conversation or fake agreeing and comply to try and make it another day. A couples intensive at Insights Counseling Center helps the two of you experience collaboration and connection so that you can chart a new way forward.
You can have the marriage that you thought you were getting when you said, “I do.” We are ready to help you.
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Maybe You’re Not Sure If You’re Ready For An Intensive At Insights Counseling Center…
We don’t have the time to get away for an intensive.
How much longer do you think your marriage will survive without investing time to begin the healing process? How many more hours do you want to spend hiding from your spouse, or staying later at the office just to avoid having to interact or have the same old fights? Ignoring the problems can often make sense in the moment, but it only leads to more distress and dissatisfaction.
When it comes to couples counseling, very often it is right around minute 45 that we finally get into some real issues and begin to make some progress. In an intensive format we have time to stretch out and keep going. Many of the tools and techniques we teach take a great deal of practice, and reality is that most couples just won’t put in the reps outside of session - they all mean to, but they just don’t. We get that - and that is one of the reasons we love doing intensives. We have the time to guide you through using a technique and for you to see the incredible benefits of the techniques - this usually inspires and motivates couples to take the tools and techniques and use them at home as well as in our office.
We don’t have the money for an intensive.
We get it - money, like time, is not an inexhaustible resource. We do find that couples that invest in our intensives make more progress and they make it faster than regular 50 minute installments.
Yes, investing money in intensives can be a challenge, but that investment can reap large dividends pretty quickly. One of the main reasons that we find intensives with gifted therapists to be so helpful is that couples make more progress and they do it faster than couples coming in bi-weekly for a 50 minute session. Simply put, intensives are less expensive in the long run. Sometimes, the reality is that money is going to be spent one way or the other - either in healing your marriage, or in navigating the end of it.
I’m not sure I want to stay in the marriage.
That is the harsh reality, isn’t it? Sometimes we torture ourselves with the questions - is it worth it? Is this really survivable? Can my spouse really change? Do I even want to stay, or have the energy to fight for it anymore? We totally get that, and honestly, sometimes the point of an intensive is to answer those questions.
Those questions are usually there regardless of the intensive, right? If that’s the case, wouldn’t you like to get those questions answered over a day or two with a skilled clinician rather than over a period of months?
You Can Have The Marriage You Thought You Were Getting When You Said “I Do”
If you struggle to communicate with your spouse or feel betrayed by your partner’s extramarital sexual behaviors, a couples intensive at Insights Counseling Center can help you create connection and improve communication between the two of you.
To find out more about how we can help or join one of our intensives, please email us or reach out here on our website.
¹ Caudill & Drake. (2020). Full disclosure : Seeking truth after sexual betrayal: Volume One: Understanding how disclosure can help you heal. Kintsugi Recovery Partners