Students Ask About Anxiety: When Something Is Bothering You
High School Students Ask About Anxiety:
If something is bothering you, would you suggest
running from it and hoping it will go away?
would you confront it?
what is your way on how to let go of it?
Dear high school students,
High school can be an emotionally complex chapter in your life, filled with new challenges and experiences that test your resilience and shape your identity. When you encounter a situation that bothers you, how you respond to it can affect your sense of well-being and personal growth. Let's explore some approaches to addressing difficulties and cultivating a path through emotional disturbances.
The Allure and Consequence of Avoidance
When a problem casts its shadows over your days, the temptation to run from it, to bury it in the depths of your mind, hoping it will dissolve on its own, can be strong. However, there’s a phrase in psychology: "What we resist persists." This means that avoiding or resisting the problem often only intensifies its hold on us.
Our brains dislike uncertainty because it leaves us unable to predict and prepare for the future. In the face of unresolved issues, the brain may cling to the outcome we fear most, triggering a cycle of rumination and obsessive thoughts. These patterns of overthinking can distract from the present moment and prevent us from facing what truly bothers us, inadvertently giving the problem more power and space in our lives.
Confront with Consideration & Wisdom
The alternative to flight is confrontation, but this doesn't mean charging into battle without a plan. One valuable tool at your disposal is the concept of the "Wise Mind," a core idea from Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). This refers to finding a balance between rational thought—factual and logical analysis—and emotional wisdom—your feelings and intuition about a situation.
By considering both the rational facts and your emotional experiences concerning what's troubling you, you can find your Wise Mind—the area of overlap where you're able to see the situation clearly and make informed choices. This balanced perspective allows you to confront the concern with insight and composure, rather than being driven by fear or anger alone.
To do this, you might write down what you know to be factually true about the situation on one side of a paper, and on the other, express how it makes you feel. Where you see connections or insights emerging from both, there likely lies your Wise Mind—the source of your pathways forward.
Letting Go Through Movement and Values
Sometimes, even when you integrate logic with emotion, the solution isn't to solve the problem but to let go of it. But letting go isn't about neglect; it's an active process of moving through the experience. To truly let go, there's often a need to develop resources or skills necessary to adapt and progress, which often involves understanding and reaffirming your values.
Developing the resources or skills to move ahead might mean seeking support from trusted friends, family, or a counselor. It may involve learning to communicate more effectively, manage stress through mindfulness or other relaxation techniques, or engage in self-care practices that promote resilience.
Living according to your values—even in the face of difficulties—is an illuminating guide. Values serve as a compass that points you toward actions and choices that contribute to your self-esteem and integrity, even if they don’t directly solve the problem. For example, if you value kindness, you might choose to address a difficult situation with understanding rather than bitterness, thus letting go of the tendency to react harshly which may be in conflict with who you aspire to be.
Support If You Need Or Want It
What’s critical to remember is that whatever approach you take, be kind to yourself. Our natural responses to distress––flight, fight, or freeze––are deeply human. It takes strength and courage to look within and seek a path that aligns with insight, values, and personal growth.
Recognize that you are not alone in your struggles, and reaching out for support can be a profound step toward healing. Here at Insights Counseling Center, we are committed to providing a compassionate space to help you navigate these waters. Whether it’s teaching about the Wise Mind, exploring your values, or supporting skill-building, our goal is to empower you to live a life defined by understanding, resiliency, and true emotional well-being.
Wherever you are on your journey, remember that each experience carries with it the opportunity for personal development. Seek to understand, be willing to consider your options, and learn the graceful art of letting go. In doing so, you are not merely surviving your high school years; you are thriving through them. Reach out today if you would like to schedule a session with one of our therapists who see teens and young adults.
with hope,
The Insights Counseling Team