Students Ask About Anxiety: Helping Friends And Family
High School Students Ask About Anxiety:
How can we help family or friends who deal with anxiety?
Dear high school students,
Anxiety is not merely an individual’s battle; it affects everyone within the individual's circle. As high school students, you might be curious, "How can we help family or friends who deal with anxiety?" The answer lies in collaboration and empowerment.
Collaborate, Don't Incorporate
Your role in helping a loved one with anxiety isn't about absorbing their pain but about walking alongside them, providing support and facilitating access to the tools and resources they need. This approach is what we call "collaborate, don't incorporate."
To "collaborate" means to work together toward the common goal of managing anxiety, providing encouragement, listening empathetically, and connecting them with appropriate resources. It means respecting their individuality and personal journey, acknowledging that you're assisting them, not controlling their recovery process.
"Collaboration" cautions against "incorporation," where you might inadvertently start carrying their emotional burden as your own, possibly leading to compassion fatigue or even vicarious trauma.
The Danger of Rumination
One aspect to consider when helping a loved one manage anxiety is the danger of rumination – dwelling obsessively on anxious scenarios or experiences. It's important to understand that the human brain struggles distinguishing between experiences that are real and those that are imagined. So, when a loved one repeatedly recounts their experience of anxiety, they are, in effect, re-living it. This repetition stirs up the same neurochemical reactions as the actual event, potentially magnifying their anxiety further rather than alleviating it.
While lending an empathetic ear is essential, you must be mindful not to allow them to excessively ruminate over their anxiety. As their supporter, you can help them break this cycle by calmly and kindly redirecting the conversation to choices they have in the situation, encouraging them to engage in activities that focus on the present, or suggest strategies such as mindfulness or cognitive-behavioral techniques that a mental health professional can guide you with.
Ways to Help
1. Education: Learn about anxiety. Understanding its signs, symptoms, and course can equip you to offer more effective support.
2. Active Listening: Practicing active listening is a powerful way to provide emotional support. Remember, you are there to listen, not necessarily to fix.
3. Suggest Professional Help: If their anxiety seems overwhelming or persistent, suggest seeking help from mental health professionals - who possess the expertise to guide them through their healing journey.
4. Encourage Self-Care: Encourage regular exercise, balanced diet, sufficient sleep, relaxation practices, and leisure activities, which can significantly contribute to managing anxiety symptoms.
5. Be Patient: Change takes time, and managing anxiety is a process. Encourage them through small victories and be patient through setbacks.
Final Thoughts
Remember, along this journey with a loved one experiencing anxiety, your role is to collaborate, to be present with them, offering understanding, patience, and hope. It is not to incorporate, taking their ordeal as your own. You cannot walk this path for them, but you can illuminate it by helping them access the resources they require.
Helping a loved one with anxiety can be challenging but remember, by seeking to aid them, you are already making a significant impact – providing a beacon of human connection and understanding in their difficult moments. If you would like to speak with one of our therapists who see teens and young adults, reach out to schedule a session.
with hope,
The Insights Counseling Team