State Of Our Parenting: A Weekly Conversation To Strengthen Your Parenting And Family

Parenting is one of the most rewarding and challenging roles we will ever have. It requires patience, adaptability, and an endless reservoir of love. When the marriage relationship is strained, or when you and your co-parent find yourselves agreeing only on the shared goal of caring well for your children, it can feel overwhelming. However, this common ground—the desire to parent effectively and ensure your children are not negatively impacted by parental distress—can be a powerful foundation.

One simple yet powerful practice that can help is setting aside dedicated time each week for a "State of Our Parenting" conversation. This can strengthen your co-parenting relationship, regardless of the state of your personal relationship.

What is a “State of Our Parenting” Conversation?

This weekly check-in is an intentional moment where you and your co-parent (or, if you’re parenting solo, with a trusted support person or through reflective journaling) come together to discuss your parenting journey. It’s not about solving marital issues or critiquing each other’s methods. Instead, it’s an opportunity to:

• Reflect on what’s working well in your parenting approach

• Identify areas where you feel challenged

• Celebrate small victories and progress

• Share concerns, hopes, and goals for your family

• Foster a sense of teamwork and mutual support focused on your children’s well-being

Think of it as a regular "tune-up" for your co-parenting dynamic, helping you stay connected and aligned in your shared mission to support your children, even if other areas of your relationship are difficult.

How To Structure Your Weekly Check-In:

1. Set the Stage: Choose a regular time each week when you can talk without distractions. Maybe it's after the kids are in bed, during a weekend coffee, or on a quiet walk. Create an environment that feels neutral and focused on your shared parenting goals.

2. Start with Positives: Begin by sharing what went well. Did your child handle a tough situation with resilience? Did you successfully manage a challenging moment with patience? Acknowledging wins reinforces positive behaviors and helps keep the focus on your common goal. For example, you might say, "I noticed how you stayed calm when our teenager was upset about school. It really helped de-escalate the situation."

3. Address Challenges Gently: Discuss any struggles without placing blame. Use "I" statements to express feelings: “I felt overwhelmed when bedtime became chaotic this week. How can we make that smoother?” This keeps the focus on collaboration. Remember, the goal is not to fix your relationship but to improve how you co-parent.

4. Set Goals Together: Identify one or two small, actionable goals for the upcoming week. Maybe it’s committing to more one-on-one time with each child, trying a new bedtime routine, or practicing active listening during conflicts. For example, "Let’s each spend 10 minutes of undivided attention with the kids every day this week and see how that feels."

5. Express Gratitude: End the conversation by expressing appreciation for each other's efforts in parenting. You might say, "I really appreciate how you handled morning routines this week. It made things less stressful for all of us."

Common Topics You Might Explore:

• Emotional Check-Ins: How are we feeling as parents this week? Are there stressors we're carrying that might be affecting our parenting?

• Parenting Values: Are our actions reflecting the values we want to instill in our children? What can we adjust to stay aligned with those values?

• Child Development: Are there behaviors we're noticing in our children that we want to understand better or respond to differently?

• Self-Care: Are we taking care of ourselves so we can show up as our best selves for our kids?

Why This Matters:
Regular check-ins create a culture of open communication, intentionality, and emotional connection focused on your shared goal: raising healthy, resilient children. They help you stay aligned with your parenting values, respond proactively to challenges, and model healthy conflict resolution and collaboration for your children.

Even if your personal relationship feels strained, these conversations can provide a structured, non-confrontational space to work together effectively. They reduce feelings of isolation in parenting and reinforce that, despite your differences, you are a team when it comes to your children’s well-being.

Ready to Strengthen Your Co-Parenting Partnership?
If you’d like support in navigating parenting challenges, improving co-parent communication, or fostering stronger family connections, our counselors are here to help. Whether you're facing specific concerns or simply want to enhance your parenting toolkit, we're ready to walk alongside you. Schedule a session today to learn strategies tailored to your family’s unique needs.