Signs of Betrayal Trauma and How Therapy Helps You Overcome It

female counselor in office

We all have deep attachments in our lives. Many of them stem from childhood. There are people you’re supposed to be able to trust, lean on, and look to for support when you need it. 

Unfortunately, we don’t live in a perfect world. Sometimes those deep attachments are the ones that can hurt us the most. That’s where betrayal trauma comes in. 

Betrayal trauma is the violation of a deep attachment, usually stemming from child abuse or betrayal by a romantic partner. It’s about more than just the act of abuse or a specific event. Rather, it’s the act of betrayal itself that fuels this type of trauma. 

As a result, people who experience behavioral trauma might not know how to respond. When the trauma occurs from someone you rely on for support, you might still want to stay near that person, because you don’t know where else to turn. 

With that in mind, it’s important to understand the signs of betrayal trauma. Recognizing what you might be dealing with is the first step in getting the help you need to overcome it. 

What Does Betrayal Trauma Look Like?

Because this type of trauma affects people differently, it’s hard to pin down a specific set of signs and symptoms. However, there are some common behaviors to look at. Many people who deal with betrayal trauma have similar symptoms to those with PTSD, including: 

  • Flashbacks

  • Nightmares

  • Fear

  • Social withdrawal

  • Avoidance

If someone with a deep attachment betrayed you, the trauma from that event might also cause you to look at yourself and feel a sense of shame. It’s not uncommon for those going through betrayal trauma to have a low sense of self-worth, and even struggle with depression. 

How It Impacts Your Connection With Others

Unfortunately, betrayal trauma can make you hypervigilant about almost everything in your life. Feelings of fear and anxiety could overtake your thoughts, and even impact the way you interact with others. 

You might have a hard time trusting people or maintaining positive relationships. You might even find it difficult to trust your own thoughts, feelings, or decisions. So, it can often seem easier to stay away from others, withdraw from friends and family members, and stick to a routine that feels comfortable, even if it’s unhealthy. 

Coping and Overcoming

Because many people dealing with betrayal trauma feel a sense of guilt, it’s harder for them to reach out for help. Some try to cope on their own by dissociating themselves from triggering moments or repressing painful memories. 

Others try to cope by “forgetting” what they’ve gone through. It’s not uncommon for those struggling with betrayal trauma to turn to drugs, alcohol, or even overeating as a coping mechanism. 

If that sounds familiar, you’re not alone. You also don’t need to stick with those unhealthy measures just to take control of your life again. 

Therapy is one of the best ways to overcome betrayal trauma, no matter how long ago it occurred. Therapy allows you to acknowledge the trauma in a safe and neutral location, so you don’t have to avoid your memories or emotions anymore. 

Once you openly acknowledge what happened, you can work on understanding your triggers, accepting your feelings, and developing healthy strategies to move forward. 

If you’ve experienced betrayal trauma, reaching out for help is an important first step, no matter how overwhelming it feels. Feel free to contact us for more information or to set up an appointment. You don’t have to be defined by your betrayal any longer. Betrayal therapy can be a difficult thing to work through and accept, but with the right therapeutic techniques, you can overcome it.

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