Emotional Infidelity: 4 Things You Should Know

Have you ever felt a connection with someone who isn’t your partner?

Maybe they’re a close friend or even a coworker. You may have common interests or hobbies. Maybe you even have a few inside jokes with one another.

When you receive a text from them, your face lights up. You haven’t felt this way in a long time. Are those butterflies in your stomach?

Your friends, family, and even your partner are a little curious. They’re just a close friend you tell them. They don’t seem convinced.

You hang out with one another. It starts with some coffee runs, and before long, you’re meeting up for dinner and drinks.

Is this really just a friendship?

Here are 4 things you should know about emotional infidelity.

1. What is Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional infidelity is a type of cheating when “one partner shares emotional intimacy and connection with someone other than their partner.”

With emotional infidelity, the bond that you share with the person that isn’t your partner may match the emotional bond shared with your partner. Nothing physical or sexual happens when it comes to emotional infidelity. That being said, it may still feel like some type of boundary is being crossed.

The amount of time and energy you’re spending on building another relationship is emotional infidelity.

2. What are the Signs of Emotional Infidelity?

Emotional affairs develop just like any other type of relationship does. Over time, the connection and bond can grow. It may seem like it’s natural and unintentional at first, but there are several signs that can help differentiate a normal friendship from emotional infidelity. Here are a few of the most common signs of emotional infidelity:

• Saying you’re “just friends” when your partner, family, or friend questions you.

• Spending less time with your partner.

• Choosing your friend over your partner.

• Craving alone time with your friend.

• Thinking your friend understands and appreciates you more than your partner.

• Sharing your thoughts and feelings with your friend over your partner.

• Withdrawing or distancing yourself from your partner, physically and emotionally.

3. What Causes Emotional Infidelity?

Having an affair can be caused for many different reasons. The same can be said when it comes to emotional infidelity. One of the most common causes of emotional infidelity is unmet needs.

When your needs are being unmet, you may start to look in other places to fill them. Maybe your partner is preoccupied with work. Maybe the kids have been a little bit of a handful lately, and you’re both trying to keep up with the balance of life, work, family, and more.

You may be feeling empty-handed when it comes to your desire for attention, intimacy, and adventure.

No matter the cause of the emotional infidelity, if you’re questioning whether you’ve crossed a line or disrespected your partner in any way, there’s probably a good chance that you have.

4. How do you Address Emotional Infidelity?

One of the best ways to handle emotional infidelity is to prevent it from even happening in the first place. This is something that takes both parties, you and your partner, to work on together.

When you feel distance from your partner, instead of hiding it from them or ignoring those feelings, talk it out with them. You can only work through the issues you’re feeling if you’re open and honest with yourself and them. They may not even be aware of any problem, so it’s best to get it out in the open to help clear the air instead of holding onto the feelings and having them grow into resentment.

If you’re in a different situation where emotional infidelity has unfortunately already taken place, there are ways to work through the trauma and towards a solution together as well. Therapy can be a great place to start. Our therapists are trained to help you navigate these conversations and build a foundation based on truth for your relationship. This truth foundation creates stability in the relationship that creates space for safety and trust that leads to vulnerability and intimacy that safeguards your relationship. Email us or contact us to help get back to enjoying your life together again.