Supporting Your Journey to Healing: A Daily and Weekly Check-in Guide for Couples Recovering from Betrayal
We understand the pain and confusion that couples experience when faced with betrayal. The road to healing can be challenging, but please know that you are not alone. We are here to guide and support you on your journey toward recovery and rebuilding trust. As part of that journey, regular check-ins can be an invaluable tool for fostering open communication, understanding, and growth within your relationship.
Why Check-ins Matter
Trust is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. When trust has been broken, rebuilding it requires consistent effort and vulnerability. Regular check-ins provide a designated time and space for both partners to express their feelings, concerns, and progress. These check-ins strengthen emotional bonds, enhance communication skills, and help you stay connected as you work towards healing together.
ONCE A DAY | COMMUNICATION
Share An Affirmation: take a moment to reflect on the positive attributes that you admire about your partner. It could be their unwavering support, sense of humor, intelligence, or kindness. Each day, choose one and let them know how much you appreciate and value what they bring to the relationship. The more timely the better here. If you noticed something from today or the day before, best to share something current. This will depend on what time of day you choose to share daily. By focusing on the positive aspects of your partner, you can foster a deeper sense of connection and intimacy, strengthening your relationship even further.
Share Something From Your Day: as you embark on your journey to healing and recovery, it's important to nurture your relationship by regularly sharing your experiences with your partner. Consider sharing something from your day that particularly stood out to you and why it was meaningful. It could be a small victory, a moment of joy, or even a challenge that you overcame. By opening up and sharing your experiences, you cultivate a deeper sense of understanding and empathy with your partner. Remember, even small moments can hold great significance, and by sharing these moments with your partner, you can create a stronger foundation for your relationship to grow and flourish.
Share Something On Your Radar: sharing what's coming up in the near or distant future can be really meaningful in a daily check-in because it helps us to stay focused and accountable. It also allows us to identify potential challenges and brainstorm ways to overcome them.
Share A Request: in the journey of recovery and growth, it is crucial to express your needs and request support from your partner. While you cannot control how your spouse responds to your request, it is still meaningful to share and communicate. By expressing your requests or needs, you open the door for potential understanding and support. Your spouse may or may not respond in the way you hope, yet just by sharing, you are being accessible to your spouse and giving voice to your feelings.
Sobriety (If In Recovery): if in recovery, it is important to share if you have mainted your sobriety without your spouse having to ask you
ONCE A WEEK | PROGRESS & CHALLENGES
Progress: reflect on the progress you've made throughout the week. Celebrate the steps forward, no matter how small.
Challenges: discuss any challenges or setbacks you encountered along the way. Remember, it's important to approach these discussions with empathy and understanding.
Brainstorm: together, brainstorm strategies on how to overcome challenges and support each other throughout the next week.
Present & Future: focus on finding solutions rather than dwelling on past mistakes.
A special note for those early in betrayal trauma: Addressing the past, getting truth re-established as the foundation of your relationship, and healing from the past is key in your recovery as a couple. This present & future prompt is not here to diminish that in any way. For your weekly check-ins, this is a time we are working to help you heal and establish new patterns that will take you into a future together that is more connected and solid than before.
Memories of pain are not about the past; they evolved to keep us safe in the present and future. They point to solutions now, not in the past.
-Dr. Steven Stosny "Living and Loving After Betrayal: How to Heal from Emotional Abuse, Deceit, Infidelity, and Chronic Resentment"
Remember, these are here to guide your check-in process. Feel free to adapt and modify them to suit your unique circumstances and preferences. The most important aspect is open and honest communication, built on a foundation of empathy and support.
The Journey Towards Healing
Healing from infidelity and sex addiction is a complex and personal journey. It requires patience, effort, and a commitment to growth from both partners. Remember, you are not alone in this process—our team is here to support you every step of the way.
By incorporating regular check-ins into your recovery journey, you create space for healing, understanding, and, ultimately, rebuilding trust. Together, we can work towards creating a stronger, healthier relationship—one that is built on a foundation of mutual respect, compassion, and love.
If you would like to schedule a couples therapy session to explore this further or speak with one of our experienced therapists, please don't hesitate to reach out. We are here for you.