Nurturing the Couple Bubble: Managing Thirds Together
In the journey of love, couples often encounter various challenges that can strain their connection. It's not uncommon for one or both partners to feel like a third wheel at times, struggling to maintain a sense of togetherness and harmony. To navigate these ups and downs, we employ the metaphor of the "Couple Bubble" from the Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT). A Couple Bubble can help couples co-manage the thirds they face, fostering a secure and resilient bond.
What is the Couple Bubble?
Imagine the Couple Bubble as an invisible protective shield that surrounds a committed partnership. It represents the safe and intimate space that couples create together—a space where they can be vulnerable, authentic, and deeply connected. The Couple Bubble acts as a sanctuary from the outside world and is built on trust, communication, and mutual support.
Co-Managing the Thirds
Life brings many "thirds" into a couple's relationship—external factors that can influence their dynamics and individual well-being. These thirds can be anything the couple faces individually or together; and can include kids, work, in-laws, friends, hobbies, technology, money, the list can be long. Co-managing the thirds means that couples actively work together to address and navigate these external stressors, ensuring they don't erode the foundation of their Couple Bubble.
Maintaining Balance within the Couple Bubble
At times, one partner may feel like a third wheel when the other is preoccupied with one of the thirds and is acting more individually at the expense of the relationship. In such instances, it is essential to acknowledge and address these feelings of disconnection. Honest and open communication becomes paramount, as it allows both partners to share their experiences and concerns. By validating each other's emotions and actively listening, couples can create agreements and restore balance within their Couple Bubble.
Strategies for Strengthening the Couple Bubble
Prioritize quality time: Carve out dedicated moments for connection in your daily lives. Engage in activities that bring you joy and help you bond, such as going for walks, preparing meals together, or simply engaging in heartfelt conversations.
Embrace empathy: Seek to understand your partner's perspective and validate their feelings, even when you may not fully relate. Cultivate empathy by actively listening, showing compassion, and offering support.
Establish boundaries: Protect the Couple Bubble by setting healthy boundaries with external stressors. Learn to say no to commitments that can overwhelm your relationship and prioritize your collective well-being.
Create agreements: Nurturing the Couple Bubble starts with knowing the agreements you have made with one another. Take time to consider agreements you are willing to make together to manage the thirds in your relationship, considering how to prioritize the relationship.
Seek win-win solutions: As you face challenges, begin to consider why prioritizing the relationship is both good for your relationship and for you individually.
Seek support: Our licensed therapists can help you navigate the complexities of navigating thirds and strengthening your Couple Bubble. We will work with you to tailor your agreements to your unique needs.
By co-managing these external stressors and actively nurturing your Couple Bubble, you can cultivate a strong and resilient partnership. Embrace open communication, prioritize quality time, and seek professional guidance when needed. Together, you can weather life's storms and build a thriving and harmonious connection that stands the test of time. You deserve a love and connection that thrives even amidst the busy-ness you face individually and together—the Couple Bubble can help.
If you would like to consider how to apply this Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT) to your relationship, contact us today. We would love to help you create this collaborative and caring dynamic in your relationship.